hello, buddies!

haven't been updating my blog for quite a while. been doing nothing lately. just went for a short trip to genting with friends a few weeks ago and won 30 bucks in the casino thanks to meiyee. :) and then went for 2012 today. it's nice and it makes me so scared to death suddenly. Life's so short man. couldn't imagine what i'd be like in 2012. i wish i could hug the one i love when i die on 21-12-2012. haha! hopefully the apocalypse doesn't come so early lar... LOL

A L O N E . . .

I hate to be alone. Loneliness is a scary monster that eats u up bits by bits. I hate to cook for myself, eating every meal with no one but myself. I hate to order pizza and eat it alone on my birthday when every one has a surprise on theirs. I hate to be alone at home. When i feel like going out for a walk and i couldn't think of anyone who can go with me. When i hold my phone, scrolling down the phone book and realize that there is no one i could call. I hate being alone at night when it rains so heavily, the wind blows so strongly that it wakes me up from my sleep. I hate it. I miss home, badly.

一个人

突然觉得。。。  
其实，在世界上，每一个人只是另一个人的过客。 
没有说谁没有了谁，就会活不下去。  
朋友 or 男女朋友，好像真的只是互相利用的工具。
  当一个人对你说，i'll be there, no matter what. 真的是一个很大很大的承诺。 
但，又有谁真的可以做到呢？  
我想，每一个人都是自私的吧。  
当你的利益和他的利益互相冲突时，又有谁会真的愿意放弃自己的利益，帮你达成你的愿望呢？ 
或许每个人都是一样的，只是程度上的不同而已。  
寂寞真的很可怕，可怕到无法想象。  
夜深人静时，当你无意间想起鬼片里的某些情节而无法入睡， 想打电话，却知道没有人会从睡梦中醒来陪你聊天，感觉真的很不好。
长大了，好像真的应该学习独立。
因为到最后，你都只会是一个人。

recently, i've been....

i granted myself a 10 days study leave from 23 august till 1 sept and went back to miri. managed to have lunch with vin the worm bro on his bday on 25 aug. but i'm sorry this caused a big fight btw him and his ahem. 
  anyway, we had lunch at citrus and these are what we had. 
vin's was some kind of cheese baked rice and mine was lamb chop.
 

notice the small ball ball? it was made out of potato and it was in a shape of a pear. it tasted yummy. :)
  and i've straightened my hair and cut my fringe short too.  
before after  
after my exam, i went back to miri again for a 3 weeks holiday. during the semester break, i got myself a job that is to give tuition to rebecca. managed to earn some pocket money. wahaha! didn't hang out much with chyuan cause he's got something else more important to do now. :P but we still managed to go out for a drink on each saturday. we've found a new hobby. and lin, i'm sure u're gonna love it. come back soon and join us! and because the holiday was a lil bit too long, and my friends who are busy with their own stuff, i dragged my bro and sis out for supper some nights. the re was one night when we went to marina sea horse and had a drink there. it was nice, except for the mosquitoes. 
 

and now i'm back in kl again. 
hopefully this semester will be an interesting one, filled with short trips and shoppings la..

i'm happy.

An official ending.

I should be awake from all my dreams and hopes.

Goodbye.

i need hugs, so badly as i couldn't stand anymore.

R.I.P. weewee 19.08.2009

weewee is found dead this morning in his cage. Maybe it's a release from the sufferings all these while. rest in peace, weewee.

my updated wishlist, though not gonna get any of it soon, but noone says we cant dream of it right?

• a nice sharp-coloured sundress
• perfume
• any black-strapped elegant watch
• rings
• some nice t shirts for college
• a pair of black shorts which the colour will never come off no matter how often i wash
• colourful tops to brighten up my wardrobe
• a nice pair of jeans that tighten and push up my gigantic butts
• a manicure + peducure - just out of curiosity cause i've never tried it in my life
• nice shoes, covered, high heels, flats bla bla bla....
• an airticket to Taiwan
• more money
• friendship
• love
• luckssssssssssssssssss for my coming final exam, starting on 4 sept.

I'm gonna stop dreaming and go get some sleep.

Goodnite pals.

It feels bad. it really feels bad. i hope i'd never need to do that and have that feeling anymore. Not anymore, i promise. i hate that. when i see it in the movie, i thought they were just acting it out and the feeling wasn't that 'over' as how they acted. But it really wasn't a good feeling. I wanna work hard with both my own hands. I will!